“You don’t look Japanese”

This HAS to be the most annoying comment that people spew at me.

Are they bloody fucking retarded?  Pardon my language, but honestly!

I don’t bloody fucking care what they think, for I am a Japanese and I can’t change that!  And can’t they for a fucking second think how I would feel from that ridiculous comment?  And can’t these people for a second that I have heard this phrase like a quizillion times?  I met this girl called “Fila,” but I didn’t say some shit like “oh, just like the shoes” cuz it is bloody obvious that she heard that like billion times.

I get this comment a lot, and depending on the vibes I get from the dumbass that said it, I reply using the following script:

“What is that supposed to mean?” (If I want to guilt trip them)

“Well, I will tell my plastic surgeon that.”

“Thank you, that was actually my next question.”

“Is that a problem for you?”

Okay, I have never said the last two.

But honestly, this is a really ridiculous thing to say.  I have been Japanese for fucking 20-something years, and for someone who I just met to say such a thing annoy me.

The last person to tell me this phrase was back in December when this loser who “never gets out of the military base, which is pretty much like the U.S but in Japan, thus living in a bubble,” and who clearly fancied me at a house party.  He kept staring at me, and when he had the chance to talk to me, he told me this.  I was like “what do you mean by that?” and he was pretty much lost with words. Then he decided to 20 question me about my background, and then I had to tell him “look, I came here for the party, and being 20 question-ed wasn’t my intention.  I know you mean no harm, but you’ve been asking questions about my background for the past couple minutes.”  Asking tedious questions about a guy one after another is NOT the way to chat up a guy at a party

Yes, they don’t mean any harm, but I don’t bloody care.  It is considered rude to talk about faces of people you’ve just met, and some people just do that.  Like “your nose looks Western,” or “you must be part-white” (I’m not for fucks sake).  How would they feel if I started talking about how their nose looks?

The grossest thing I have heard is “you must be half-latin because of your hair on the arm.”  I should have simply told them that that commenting on body hair of people you just met is bizarre.  Jesus.

Another silly question is when people ask me “are you haafu (Japanese term for mixed-race people) or Japanese.” Grrr…  I simply reply “aren’t haafu people Japanese as well?” to which most people apologize.

Well, there was a best-selling Japanese novel called “GO.”  In the book, the main character (obviously modeled after the author) is a Japanese with a Korean descent.  When this weird but hot chick asks whether he is zainichi (Japanese with a Korean descent), he gets annoyed and retorts “my family and I have been living in Japan for years.  In the States, it doesn’t matter if you are an Asian.  If you were born there and raised there, you are accepted as American.  But in Japan, no matter how many years I live here, they still refer to me as zainichi.”  Or something like that.

Anyways, when I lived abroad in this backward country, I got people shouting “Chinese” at me whenever I walked down the street.  Like I never had that coming….

Are these people so ridiculous that they never get out of their mundane predictable life and immerse themselves in other culture?  I am bloody Japanese, and have been for years.  Stop asking me.  I don’t look Japanese?  What, there are no other biracial people in Tokyo?  And why should it be such a big deal or matter?  Get bloody real.